solitude.

I think one of the scariest things is: when u realise how alone u are. It’s quite daunting having no one there to connect with and understand u. It’s the isolation, being cut off from everyone else. The thing is though, one if u’re with other people constantly and you still feel so alone. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so alone. I don’t want to trust anyone, I don’t want to open myself that much up to someone that I rely on them to be there. When they aren’t there, what will happen? Once you start to let people too close it starts to get harder and harder until u can barely see the person again. I don’t want to be alone anymore, I scare myself. I miss having that person around all the time, and being able to fully understand them, but it never went the right away. It got really messed up. It’s not like anyone is trying really hard to be in my life right now so I am meant to be alone right now. Even if people do try to be in my life, i’ll push them away and keep a safe distance.